sliced bread

You have to remember who you really are
You were a straightforward person
You helped your friend out of self harm
You were someone who always had a Plan B
You were a good listener and you would offer a shoulder to cry on not caring whether or not they would even do the same for you
You were Ilana Wexler
You were fun and happy-go-lucky and impulsive and you would make people laugh
You didn’t care what strangers say
You only cared what the people you cared think
You didn’t treat people lightly but you made jokes so they don’t have to take it as heavy
You would go out of your way to buy someone a present
Sometimes you were already ready before the b-day
You were someone who didn’t care if you skipped class
Because you knew that you’d work hard to make up for it
You never had anyone to help you take a break
But you have made it this far
When someone wants to help, take their hand
It’s time for you to stop being so goddamn stubborn
And let them help you
But don’t forget that even when you have someone
That you’re still you
That you are still who you were
And maybe some things need improvements
But you’re still you
And you are loyal
You are hopeful
You are positive
You are amazing
You are great
You are something else
You are the best thing since sliced bread.

Sincerely,
You from the past

i will be okay

honestly, i miss the old times too. “Well, it’s great to talk about new times too, but there’s just something about the old times…” Leslie Knope once said. but you know, the new times are not good enough right now. i miss being able to talk to my friends, any of them. i have this exhaustion when talking to people, even just chatting, hell, even chatting my boyfriend gets tiring sometimes. i’m not feeling like myself, i feel like the easily drained self where everything is wrong even when it’s not. i miss having fun with my boyfriend too, but he only helps me a bit now, i gotta help myself too. my happy days are my okay days, and my bad days are my crying myself to sleep because i can’t escape somewhere days. please understand that, i will be better. i assure you, i’m very ambitious in making things better.

a song (probably), it’s called 10.54pm

Sometimes I don’t know the right thing
Or anything to say
But I promise that I will come up
With something better

Sometimes I don’t know the right thing
Or anything to do
But I promise that I will improve
With finally doing something

I think no one likes me but you
But darling, that is not the reason
Why I stay

I think you would stay through whatever
But darling, that is not the reason
Why I stay

I know I am a burden sometimes
And it’s not fun with me sometimes
But I promise that I don’t
Want to stay that way

I know I am negative
And that I am stubborn
But I promise that I can do
More for us

I think you like me because no one else would
But darling, that is not the reason
Why you stay

I think you like me because I challenge you
But darling, that is not the reason
Why you stay

Please remember that I am here
And that I am always near
Even if I am not entirely there
Just remember that I will always be there.

just in case you forgot

I am sorry for my mood swings
And my unstable emotions
I am sorry for how easy it is to drain me
And for all the tiredness, and hunger, and excuses
I am sorry for making you think that I don’t want to grow
Please know that I am here
And I am planning to stay as long as you let me
No, I am planning to love you forever

shush

How can you ever think that I don’t tell stories about you?
When you are all that I think about
When we know we will have a lifetime together
When all of my friends know that I would be spending my days with you

When clearly my recent love poems are all about you.

flexibility, love, and trust

Have you ever imagined other scenarios?
How life would be like if we met sooner?
Or later?
Or if we never even met at all?
I do
I do it sometimes
I can not find a single one that results with this
With us
Sometimes I think that it is destiny
For us to meet at that time and that place
And now I begin to wonder
Where do we go from here?
And I think about it more and more these days
Because I do want a future with you